Concerning Miniskirts
by flamealchemist528
Summary: Eventual Royxed, Roy is finally fuhrer and he's making some changes...Okay, so I know I promised an update, now three years ago...I am ashamed and abashed and I plead for your clemency : I don't know when, but this is gonna be completed DAMMIT!


Hello! It's my first ever fan fic! IT'S ALL ALEX'S DOING! (MANY HUGS ALEX ). No seriously I owe it all to her or I would never have been able to vent my fan girly soul properly.

_Concerning Miniskirts_

Chapter 1: Perfect

Roy Mustang pushed through the pair of great oak double doors and strode proudly behind the polished desk. The newly appointed Fuhrer pulled out the giant leather chair and slowly sank into the luxurious cushion. He then picked both feet off the floor and crossed them smartly on the surface, sinking further into the chair. Then, taking a deep sigh and closing his eyes he whispered to the silence. "Finally."

It was at that moment that Roy was met with a soft knock coming from the other side of the doors and a shy voice who spoke softly Roy had to lean closer to hear.

"Ro- I mean Musta- NO, I-I mean- shit." At this curse Roy could feel the embarrassment radiating through the door.

"Fuhrer Mustang sir, permission to enter, sir"

"Yes Lieutenant, please enter."

Pink tinge still apparent on her cheeks, Third Lieutenant Reda walked over the threshold carrying a sealed cardboard box, and fashioning a navy blue miniskirt.

"Your order is here sir."

"Yes, I can see that. And you are fashioning it quite well."

Reda blushed furiously and bowed her head in respect. "Thank you sir. Oh and what would you like to do with this box sir?"

"What do you mean Lieutenant? I just told you that you could distribute them."

"B-but sir, I-I…"

The Lieutenant was trying to tell Roy something, but was clearly thoroughly embarrassed by the prospect.

"What is it Lieutenant?" he asked the Lieutenant, trying to make his voice the least intimidating it was possible to be.

"Well, I-er, well-, I-usededaskirtfromtheboxandnowican'tdistributeitbecasuethesealisbroken."

"Um…sorry, what was that? Please speak a little slower Lieutenant."

Roy could feel the embarrassment reaching a whole new level as she positively glowed red.

"I'm sorry sir. I, I used a skirt from the box, and now I can't distribute the rest because the seal is broken."

He couldn't help but burst out laughing. This was bringing back so many memories. He could remember his first confrontation with Fuhrer Bradley, back in his days as a Lieutenant. He was so nervous that before uttering the first word, he had gone sickly white and began mumbling nonsense words for fifteen minutes and nearly passed out before the Fuhrer had burst out laughing and offered Roy a seat. And indeed, this Lieutenant before him looked as though she were about to faint as well.

Wiping his tearing eyes, Roy seased the laughing to a chuckle and offered the poor girl a seat.

"Don't worry yourself Lieutenant; I will take care of it. Now please have a seat and take some deep breaths."

Breda giggled nervously.

"Thank you sir. Um..don't mind me asking, but, what are you going to do with the box, sir?"

Roy smirked mischievously and sighed as he thought of the perfect persons to give them to.

"Sir? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm perfect, thank you Lieutenant. You're dismissed."

Indeed. Roy had only to think for only a moment to figure out where the miniskirts would go.

The military delivery service arrived at the dorm room of a half asleep Riza Hawkeye at 4'o clock in the morning, who took the delivery without question. After examining its contents, her suspicions confirmed, she turned to the lightening purple sky outside and made a silent, rude gesture at the Fuhrer who at the present time, was soundly asleep in his goose-feather bed, dreaming of miniskirts.

Chapter 2: The Delivery

A few hours later after Riza had received the package; the sun began to rise over the tops of the hills behind the police station. Through the open window pane of dorm room 252 streamed the morning sunlight casting a bright ray upon the sleeping form of Edward Elric. The white linen sheets were drawn up to his middle back, as he was sprawled face down in an unruly position on his stomach. His mouth was slightly open with a fain trace of sleep clinging to his cheek, breathing softly in a deep sleep.

Then all of a sudden there was a loud rapping knock and the sleepy drabble of Havoc.

"Hey, wakey-wakey in there."

Grunt

Sigh "C'mon Ed, you can't sleep off work. It wouldn't be very fair to the rest of us."

Sleepy moan "Grah, leave me alone Havoc."

"Seriously shorty, get your lazy butt outta bed now."

Havoc could hear the fanatical scrambling and dull thump as a small teenage body hit the floor.

Panting, Edward leaned against the door to catch his breath.

"Don't--call--me--short!" he gasped between breaths.

"Take it easy Fullmetal, don't blow a blood vessel. Now open the door please."

As the lock clicked and door pushed open, Havoc was met with the much disheveled, very tired, and much agitated Alchemist. Blond hair frazzled out of its braid, dark circles under his eyes, and a sharp stress mark on his temple.

"Ok, now that you're up I've got some news for you. It seems you've been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. I have the official letter from the Fuh-Ed?"

Edward wasn't listening. His brain had stopped working, screeched to a halt on Havoc's words "Lieutenant Colonel". How the hell did he get promoted? He'd only been a state Alchemist for four years, given no reason for Fuhrer Roy (Smart-Ass) Mustang to give him so much as a recommendation…

"Yo! Earth to Shrimpy! Can you please take this box, my hands are getting numb."

"Rahh! Ok I'll take the damn box, BUT I'M NOT A SHRIMP"

"Course you're not shorty, now get dressed quickly, your shift starts in ten minutes. There's a formal address at 7:30. Got that E-"

But Edward had slammed the door in his face before he could finish his sentence. "Sheesh. Moody." Yawning widely, Havoc turned and strode back down the hall.

"What the hell is in this thing?" Edward gasped as he plopped the box down on his bed and wiped his brow, pushing back his blond bangs. He first spotted an official looking letter placed atop the box and ripped that open first.

MR. EDWARD ELRIC is hereby promoted to the position of LIEUTENANT COLONEL as of JULY 24.

Signed,

_Fuhrer Roy Mustang_

NOTE: ASSIGNED UNIFORM CONTAINED

"Ok, well seems official enough. Let's see the uniform."

Transmuting his auto mail into a knife, he sliced the tape off the top of the box and turned it back into a hand.

"Wha-" was all Ed could muster as he was met with the contents. As he pulled out the first of the garments he found a tight, buttoned navy blue jacket that probably wouldn't even cover his stomach. Next he pulled out a heavy pair of high-rise, black leather boots. Then as the final garment was removed from the box and Edward couldn't help but let out a yelp/laugh of surprise at a tiny navy blue miniskirt.

"This just can't be right. There is no way I have to wear this!"

To add to his utter horror, he found a small notation at the bottom of the box that read: MILITARY UNIFORM SIZE: XS…

"OK! That's the last straw! Now a piece of paper is telling me that I need an EXTRA SMALL?"

"C'mon Ed! You're going to be late, everyone is there already," came the voice of Hawkeye from the other side of the door.

"Alright! I'll be out in a bit. Just go on and I'll be there."

"I was told to accompany you, so I'll wait here until you come out."

_And you had better not make ME late, you hear Full metal! _She whispered through the door as she cocked her pistol.

"Gah! Ok Hawkeye! I'm coming!"


End file.
